


Surrender

by Pimpala27



Category: Hurts (UK Band)
Genre: Drinking, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28448433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pimpala27/pseuds/Pimpala27
Summary: the mind of Adam Anderson is a dark and scary place
Relationships: Adam Anderson/Theo Hutchcraft
Kudos: 3





	Surrender

I was rude and callous that night. I didn't mean to be, but there was this anger roaring inside of me, and i had no more room for it. So I was rude, except nobody in Manchester has the patience to take peoples shit, especially if its coming from someone as scrawny and weak as me, so the fighting began, and I was laughing through the blood in my face, because at least it was something. 

It was rough and quick, and easily forgotten by the crowd that had formed expecting something far more exciting. 

The ice held to my cheek did less than the whisky in the glass, but it was welcome anyhow, staving off the inevitable pain that I knew was coming, the pain that was hiding behind the adrenaline that was keeping me from picking a fight with someone I couldn't take on. 

The girls in Manchester hated these fights, except for the really messed up ones, and I really wasn't in the mood to deal with a crying teeny bopper telling me her life story. I didn't want to be that guy, especially since I already knew that I was exactly that guy. 

Theo caught my eye, and I only knew that was his name after wed already snogged like teenagers in the loo and almost gone at it right then and there save for the people all around us.

I didn't want to talk, not about music, not about anything, but I could already tell he was the talking type, wouldn't ever shut up, and it would have been annoying if it wasn't so damn worth the warmth spreading in that place in my stomach that was usually in knots. 

The drinks flooded my system, fogged up my brain, and numbed my body. I didn't feel the snow on my skin when I let him kiss me like there was something precious somewhere inside, like he was trying to find a light inside me that didn't exist. 

He smiled at me, smiled like everything in the world was all right, and it wasn't, it never would be, I wanted to kiss that smile off his face. 

I gave him all I could, what little I had left, and he was grateful, holding me like i was worth something more than a quick fuck in an alleyway and a messy goodbye.

The lights were on us once again, out in the open in front of the pub, and i couldn't hide what we had just done, but no one noticed us, the commotion of another fight capturing the attention of the drunk and stupid. 

He talked, and i listened, his voice anchoring me in my messy state. I almost thought it could have been soothing, but I didn't want that, or didn't deserve that, i couldn't tell. 

He talked about studying sound engineering, how his whole life revolved around music, and I couldn't admit to him that the only good in my life was the guitar and keyboard sitting in my bedroom waiting for me. I couldn't tell him about the boxes filled with poems I didn't dare admit existed. 

He fumbled around for paper and of course I had a notebook in my back pocket. He gave me his email, and i contemplated it for far too long, as though I was actually considering seeing him again, as though he was allowed to know me any further than this one night.

The train ride home was far too short, and I would have stayed on, just for the sake of the serenity, but i didn't have the money to get back home. 

He was slumped over on the couch when I got in, television blaring in front of him, bottle of whisky drained still lightly clutched in his hand. 

Nothing had changed, i had left and the world was exactly as i remembered. I despised it.


End file.
